Tuesday, June 5, 2018

cheers to tears!

Okay, so now it is confirmed. I belong to the never-at-peace, ever-stressed, over sentimental, obsessive and silly group of moms. I have accepted defeat in trying to be the casual, chilled out kind. I am out of that league.

I should have understood the day I just could not stop tears from streaming down my cheeks when my 3.5 year old ones performed on stage, jiggling and wriggling to the tunes of "mera desh rangeela". In spite of my utter embarrassment at the silliness of the happy tears.
And it was last night, that I finally put a stamp of the afore mentioned adjectives to myself, much to the dismay of my seasoned, no-nonsense egoist soul!

Because last night was a sleepless night, with me tossing and turning in between series of retrospection and rebuke! Retrospecting if I have ever been restless or anxious before the first day of my school or colleges, and rebuking myself for being so on account of kids going to school the next day!

Yes, my kids went to school today! First formal school at 4.5 years of age, holding on to my fingers and taking baby steps towards future. Specks of tears sparkling in their eyes as they let go of my hands.

I wish I could allay all their fears, I wish I could make the world as beautiful and upbeat as they see in world of Disneys and Nickelodeans. But like they will figure out one day soon, that the world, though beautiful, has its share of darkness. Life for them too will come with its share of tears and pain along with many smiles and galore of  laughter. There will be much bigger challenges than going to school! They will have to make tougher journeys, trudge along unknown roads and alleys of life than coming to the safe haven of School. I wish I could just tell them that today.

I wish I could tell them that, though this silly hyper mommy will be restless many more nights for them in days to come, but still will square her shoulders and walk with them to stand at the threshold of every challenge they ever face. Till the time they need me to. I don't ever want to be their "bridge over troubled water'', but I want to help them learn to swim through the rough tide. And when they emerge victorious from life's challenges, I will fight back my tears, yet again.

 
Till that day, I subjugate to the ordeals of being the hyper, over sensitive, inanely sentimental mom and celebrate every day and night (even the sleepless ones) of it!
Cheers to self discovery!
 

4 comments:

  1. A butterfly becomes a beautiful and a strong one as soon as it breaks the shell all by itself. A human mind works in a little different way. It demands some more. And what a better example can Avi Aurko expect, than seeing their strong and beautiful mother fighting successfully all the battles.

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  2. As usual, beautifully penned down a mother’s roller coaster ride. How it’s always a choice between keeping them safe v/s prepring them for flight. The sheer joy of a mother to see the buds slowly blooming into flowers. Superb !

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    1. Thank you! :) what will I ever do without such diligently encouraging comments! :)

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