Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Greatest love of all!

Today is Valentine's day. A day meant for celebration of love. While growing up, like most urban teenagers, this day meant a day of wearing red, expecting a card or exchanging gifts and well, celebrating the idea of love! Today, after many springs have passed by, I remain as wide eyed about love as I was a decade back! However, the definition and the dimensions seem to be ever evolving. Thus, I thought it is high time at least I touch base with myself on this crazy journey of love and life! :)

Once, the idea of love (romantic love to be precise) was just about being wanted, it was matter of high self esteem and may be even ego! Possessing and being possessed was a necessary part of the feeling!

Times have passed. Like everyone, I too have evolved! Some knowingly and some unknowingly- willingly and unwillingly. Irrespective of the books on psycho-philosophy or the mushy romantic novels that I read, wise (and unwise) people with whom I spoke to, love has come to be defined to me as a process of self discovery, of awakening! Domestic love, bohemian love, love without definition- all seem to have only one climax of finding ones self! And yes, of loving oneself.

I have always loved the song (greatest love of all) by Whitney Houston which goes:

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed, at least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all, is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all, inside of me
The greatest love of all, is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself/It is the greatest love of all.

But, is it really easy to learn to love yourself? Is it easy to draw a line between Narcissism/self obsession and self awakening? For people like me whose life most of the time seems to be dominated by numerous mundane things  like meeting the project deadlines and domestic expectations, I wonder how easy it is to make this journey!

Today, as I grapple with the meaning of life and love, they just seem synonymous! To me, today, the journey of life and journey of love are inseparable, intertwined. If we forget to celebrate love, we forget to celebrate life! If the quest to find oneself is an eternal one, so is the quest to find love! And ultimately it is the same journey!
But again, it is perhaps the most difficult task to make this journey within, connect with one's inner self, to find ones real self. To accept ones own being with all the good, bad and evil and keep loving life. Or may be living love! :)

I guess if we are ready to lose ourselves, explore within, then it is indeed possible to find ourselves too! And in some rare moments of life, when you do connect with your own self, when you do feel amazed at the breath you take every moment and fall in love with life- it all completes a full circle! Life stands still on those moments. And you find yourself, you find Love!

One of the poetries by Javed Akhtar from the film, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara that has touched my heart and echoed my thoughts would perhaps sum it all up:

Pighle neelam sa behta ye sama,
neeli neeli si khamoshiyan,
na kahin hai zameen na kahin aasmaan,
sarsaraati hui tehniyaan pattiyaan,
keh raheen hai bas ek tum ho yahan,
bas main hoon,
meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein,
aisi gehraiyaan, aisi tanhaiyaan,
aur main… sirf main.
Apne hone par mujhko yakeen aa gaya.


  1. Fantastic! Good to read your thoughts yet again. And good to see you touch base with LOVE.
    LOVE lives within us as long as we live. It may lie dormant, but it lives and breathes and, though it might change shape and form, lets us know, time and again, that it's there nonetheless, as we too are alive.

  2. Hmm.....Love..rather the romantic love...the most complicated emotion on earth !!Its great to see that you dared to dig deep to unearth the facets of it...Congrats for that first :-)
    As you said our concept of romantic love changes over time...as a teen it means flowers, chocolates, letters (and not emails), a secret kiss or a romantic hug, but as time passes and we evolve the need changes....yes, in my opinion, the need is the most underlying reason for which two grown up souls connect..the need to be with each other, the need to share, the need to give and get support (giving support is also a need !)in the journey of life....then we evolve again and realize the need to love ourselves and need to connect within.
    And our quest for Love continues.....

  3. Very well written Arunima, and it was wonderful to peep inside your mind and see the clarity with which you have explored yourself and grasped the meaning of love. Explained very well how Love and Life is entwined. Lines from both the songs bring out the depths of your thoughts beautifully.

    My views on Love are like this.
    I believe one who is capable of loving oneself is capable of loving everyone. Self love is merely the first step of the blissfull journey. I feel we all are a small fragment of ONE big soul, which is the universal souls. When we truly love ourselves we start loving everyone, because the inward journey takes us and brings us face to face with that ONE soul, and the moment we realize this, we also simultaneously come to know the interconnectedness of every single being with this ONE soul, and the love that then emerges and explodes, it explodes for every fellow being and then it flows like a fountain nourishing and bathing everyone...

  4. A beautiful way of narrating love. Truly love is there because of life. So one needs to fall in love with life first. And another aspect of love is joy and happiness. Someone told me "You dont make me happy, I dont try to squeeze happiness from you. I am happy, and I want to share my happiness with you".

  5. Ashanka, thanks for understanding and sharing your (or may be the view of the "someone" whom you quote here) thoughts on love here! Love remains a truly mesmerising and intriguing journey that we ever take! Hope you too love your own journey! :)